Focusing On The Truth

How are you doing?  1-sisters

 

Forgive me if I hope I never ask that question again, especially to someone who is grieving.

 

Joni Tada said, “Suffering is the textbook that will teach you who you really are.”

 

My suffering has revealed painful truths. I am a weak and grieving mom whose mind can’t stop the play, rewind, repeat of guilt, or the mystery and guilt of having peace amidst the pain.

 

How can that question be answered? What do people want to hear? Can I answer truthfully without also spilling all the pain and wondering?  OS09078

 

My first honest response, I am struggling was not what I wanted to say, but it was truth. Drowning in regret it wasn’t me. Guilt that I didn’t recognize or research her monthly ibuprofen use, and guilt because I dared to question God. Truthfully I am also trusting. I do have peace that God is in control. If I didn’t truly believe that God alone holds the keys to life and death, I would snap. Well, actually…

 

I did snap at a loving and gentle friend when he asked me how I was doing. “That is not a good question,” I sobbed. What is a good question, he wondered while comforting me. I pondered that. No questions, I decided. Please, no questions. Just truths.

 

She was a good woman, She will be greatly missed.   I love you. I am praying for you. I am here for you. Focus on the truth.

 

That was another friend’s response. Only a week prior I’d advised her to fight off the enemy’s lies and to focus on truth. “Focus on the truth,” she repeated, reading back to me the page of truth scriptures I had given her. It made me wonder – was God guiding me to prepare my own counsel when I answered her need the week prior?

 

I am humbled at that friend’s story and the dozens of stories from others who have also lost a child too suddenly and too soon.

passoverclipart

I remember God opening my heart to how much He loved me through an incident with Laurie. I wonder at our other daughter’s peace when God allowed her son to die. I wonder at God’s feeling when his son hung on the cross. He allowed that – for me. Did He also feel the cost was too high?

 

I wonder at Jesus after losing his best friend John, escaping to grieve, and being greeted by crowds wanting him to do for them, what he was not permitted to do for John. I wonder at Job, experiencing the loss of all his children. I wonder how those who do not believe can bear such loss.

 

And I wonder at the peace I have, despite the pain.

 

You all have incredibly poured into me this past week. I thank you for the many acts of love and mercy and prayer.

 

Thank you for sowing peace and patience as I learn to leave the questions with the Lord. Bibleheart

 

 

 

 

12 Comments on “Focusing On The Truth

  1. Once again I can only marvel at your testimony and transparency. How very much our Lord does love you as He carries you on through life … and what a deep impact you have made and do make on my life and walk with the Lord. I’m sure I am not alone in these thoughts. You are a beloved friend/sister and I continue to pray for you and Ken, and wait to see/read of all that the Lord does for and within you because of this life current shattering experience. How I wish I could just give you a big hug; but please know I’ll continue to keep you in prayer as the days pass.

    Thanks so much for your act of love in having Maggie Mae call and talk and sing for Phil. Your thinking of him in your own time of grief speaks volumes of the depth of your love and commitment to the Lord and that very love extended to other brothers and sisters. God bless you mightily.

    Love and hugs, your sis Norita

    Like

    • Norita, Thank you always for your faithful prayers and friendship. As to Maggie Mae, she herself said it was no mistake that she showed up to sing on the wrong date – it was for Phil. I just asked for her autograph for him and she asked if I had his number. Calling was her idea! I was blessed to be the conduit and to see a ray of Sonlight among the shadows.
      Love you too,
      Delores

      Like

  2. Satan loves to plant thoughts of false guilt in our minds. We are “free” in Jesus Christ, we are no longer condemned. Keep praying the Word of God aloud to gain victory in Jesus Christ. I studied the book, “Good Grief” which helped me understand the stages of grief which I experienced. You are loved, my dear sister, Delores!!

    Like

    • Dear Mystery friend, Thank you for the kind words and advice. I tried to find the book you mentioned, but could not find that exact title. Could you send me a link?
      Delores

      Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: