Focusing On The Truth

How are you doing?  1-sisters

 

Forgive me if I hope I never ask that question again, especially to someone who is grieving.

 

Joni Tada said, “Suffering is the textbook that will teach you who you really are.”

 

My suffering has revealed painful truths. I am a weak and grieving mom whose mind can’t stop the play, rewind, repeat of guilt, or the mystery and guilt of having peace amidst the pain.

 

How can that question be answered? What do people want to hear? Can I answer truthfully without also spilling all the pain and wondering?  OS09078

 

My first honest response, I am struggling was not what I wanted to say, but it was truth. Drowning in regret it wasn’t me. Guilt that I didn’t recognize or research her monthly ibuprofen use, and guilt because I dared to question God. Truthfully I am also trusting. I do have peace that God is in control. If I didn’t truly believe that God alone holds the keys to life and death, I would snap. Well, actually…

 

I did snap at a loving and gentle friend when he asked me how I was doing. “That is not a good question,” I sobbed. What is a good question, he wondered while comforting me. I pondered that. No questions, I decided. Please, no questions. Just truths.

 

She was a good woman, She will be greatly missed.   I love you. I am praying for you. I am here for you. Focus on the truth.

 

That was another friend’s response. Only a week prior I’d advised her to fight off the enemy’s lies and to focus on truth. “Focus on the truth,” she repeated, reading back to me the page of truth scriptures I had given her. It made me wonder – was God guiding me to prepare my own counsel when I answered her need the week prior?

 

I am humbled at that friend’s story and the dozens of stories from others who have also lost a child too suddenly and too soon.

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I remember God opening my heart to how much He loved me through an incident with Laurie. I wonder at our other daughter’s peace when God allowed her son to die. I wonder at God’s feeling when his son hung on the cross. He allowed that – for me. Did He also feel the cost was too high?

 

I wonder at Jesus after losing his best friend John, escaping to grieve, and being greeted by crowds wanting him to do for them, what he was not permitted to do for John. I wonder at Job, experiencing the loss of all his children. I wonder how those who do not believe can bear such loss.

 

And I wonder at the peace I have, despite the pain.

 

You all have incredibly poured into me this past week. I thank you for the many acts of love and mercy and prayer.

 

Thank you for sowing peace and patience as I learn to leave the questions with the Lord. Bibleheart

 

 

 

 

About Delores Liesner

Author, Reviewer, Columnist
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12 Responses to Focusing On The Truth

  1. I’m so very sorry. I can’t begin to process the journey you are walking on, but my heart hurts with yours and I add my prayers to those already coming. This was a well-spoken post and gave me a lot to think about. Thank you for inviting us into your journey.

    Like

  2. Ellen says:

    A friend of mine and I decided this week that “How are you?” is a complex question for everyone. Surely the more so for the grieving. I pray the Lord wrap your soul in His loving presence and shepherd you, Ken and your family through every thought, feeling, question, memory and experience. Many hugs, precious friend. I love you!

    Like

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