I’m reading a book I always knew would find me one day. It is called Fierce Woman.
Our marriage has been filled with hilarious moments where I blame my behavior on Eve. Yes, that Eve, the woman in the Garden of Eden who chose a single tempting, tantalizing bite of food over her relationship with her husband, and her relationship with God.
I am confident that if Eve hadn’t bitten (pun intended) I would still have been born, but would be a different (sinless) woman today.
I am equally confident, however, that had I been in the garden and been offered just about anything covered in chocolate (especially if offered with an Australian or Spanish accent) I would have succumbed.
That said, I still amazingly remain married to the same man – or perhaps more accurately, he remains married to me!
Eve’s punishment haunts me. Not so much the birthing part (it wasn’t fun but the reward was worth it), but the conflicting of Eve’s created purpose. God said Eve’s desire would be to rule over her husband, but he would rule over her, creating a challenge of power and inevitable problems.
Eve (and I) were created to be an Ezer to our husbands. Ezer in the Old Testament usually refers to God and means power and strength. Interesting that God created woman to be his power and strength and after Eve chose not to join with Adam, to decide as one…her created purpose is allowed to be out of control. What a punishment. Constantly striving to regain the power and to be the strength, while God has made him our Christ-figure. I struggled for a time with the idea that God created me to be a woman of God, made in His likeness to give power and a strength to Ken, yet Ken was to have the final decision when we could not agree.
I’m a lot like Eve.
I wanted it all.
Power – Strength
Markers of a strong, independent woman…
Yet God’s woman and Ezer to my husband…. Lovingly submitted to the oneness of marriage
You can see it coming. Something has got to give.
Here’s what gave
I went to God a-whining. Why did you create me this way when it causes such turmoil? How can I submit to his (plan/idea or refusal of my plan/idea) when I know that I am right?
God led me right back to Eve and showed me that I was following the pattern:
1) Did I trust God to do only what was best for me?
2) Did I listen and memorize God’s words so I would recognize any perversion of it?
3) Did I trust God to bless me with a man who would love me as Christ loved the church (enough to die for it)?
4) Could I lay down (submit) “my” power and strength and trust God to speak to my husband if he was wrong?
#4 was the key for me. Yes, a resounding yes, of course, I could trust God to work through Ken to be the leader he made him to be. God had given me the ‘last word’ after all, because if we didn’t agree I could give it to God, knowing that if I was right, God would change Ken’s mind and if Ken were right God would change my heart.
I kept track for a while . . . 95% of the time my heart got changed. But I learned that woman’s power and strength are not bad things – they are good things when applied under God’s supervision. This Fierce Woman is still learning.
I believe this principle also applies to men and women regarding the authorities in our lives. When we submit ourselves to God, we can fulfill our calling to be (our supervisors, leaders, spouses) power and strength.
Have you been an Ezer this month, or are you still in the battle?
Lyndie, Thanks for commenting. Sorry it has taken me so long to respond – we’ve had an anniversary of purchasing several things and they all crashed at once including the computer 😦 But anyway, being an Ezer, though scary, is, I believe, one of the highest opportunities we have to operate in the likeness of God. It’s great you recognize your Eve-like challenges and also know they can be strengths when submitted to the master. (I’ve personally witnessed that in you!) – So I guess the only issue is finding the God-filled man who can tame Lyndie’s heart 🙂 Come to think of it, you are already “engaged” to be His “Bride”… but until then I’ll trade prayers – that you will yet know the kind of love that would erase those fears – for you praying that my husband will survive his Ezer!
Many of these points are probably why I stayed away from marriage from all these years.
I recently ran across this quote from James Agee. “In every child who is born, under no matter what circumstances, and of no matter what parents, the potentiality of the human race is born again.”
At first glance, the thought reads full of optimism for the human race. This year I’ve been studying Genesis, and I’ve been overwhelmed by the reoccurring theme of turning from God by each generation.
I’m firmly convinced Agee’s point, whether he realized it or not, is that every child is Eve….
Thank God, the plan was always for Jesus to come…