Military training, and experience taught me that an Ezer is someone who is there with you through the good and the bad – getting punished with you, getting rewarded with you.
In training, it was a rule that you couldn’t go anywhere without another person, they were called your Battle Buddy or Battle. You slept on the same bunk bed, you showered together, you ate together, and you got punished together. There was no such thing as an individual (a similar concept as marriage.) The minute one of the two started to act as an individual, they would cause the whole group to get punished.
It was the greatest example of how one person’s actions affect everyone else. (I find that even after training, I still see my relationships in the same way, even outside the military.) That concept doesn’t die after training, in fact it causes you to build unique relationships with the people you work with.
Though it was taught as an obligation, it is a comfort that if you’re in trouble, no matter how bad, you know you can call on your Ezer to help bear your burden.
For instance when I had to ask a battle of mine to help me carry my really heavy duffle bags to our barracks, my buddy always obliged, with no attitude of “oh what a weakling” or ” I’m so strong”. A battle responded that way because he/she knew that while 100lb duffle bags weren’t my thing, that there were so many other things that made me a valuable team member.
Another result of the Battle Buddy or Ezer training is an overall respect for each other, because you know that your Battles are there to help you and make you a better person or soldier and (only) to build you up. You trust that person, so you don’t rat out your Battle.
Battles are human though (as are Ezers or any partner in any relationship) and they sometimes let you down. The relationship works if you believe that they are trying to help you and that they could be hungry, tired, or out-of-sorts and do not have malicious intent. I’m not saying that this is always the way things are, but this is my definition of a military Ezer.
What did you notice as differences between the Fierce Ezer (the Eve syndrome) and the Fiercely loyal Ezer (or Battle Buddy)?
Can you relate the marriage relationship Ezer idea with that of being a Battle Buddy? If so, how?