Delores Liesner
Activating Faith in everyday life
Discoveries of Faith – Weariness and Making the Cut
Matthew 11:28
Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.
It is fairly obvious why this rebellious pubescent found this verse special – I felt burdened – heavy laden.
Day and night. I was in turmoil.
And
I longed for rest!
Sad, for sure, I thought later, comparing my age to the childhood I tried to provide our children, that I definitely felt a part of the group of people in this verse.
Heavy laden. Oh yeah, I got that first part. And rest – seems I never found that.
But what is this in the beginning?
Labored? (feel fatigued or wearied from exertion).
I made some efforts (and avoided more) in the house, and I worked sometimes in the woods with Daddy… but that was mostly fun. I cannot say I ever worked so hard I was exhausted or weary.
But -wait – I did feel that way emotionally and spiritually – and often. It is tough trying to live several lives. The one I tried to project at school or with friends, the one I had working in the woods with Daddy, and the most challenging one – the other life you try to hide from the neighbors – home.
I was trying – working – at following the first verse especially that I wrote on this inner cover – and THAT was a HUGE burden.
Still struggling to confess my failings instead of others. Still working on praying for my abusers – my enemies so I thought – and still trying to keep my prayers focused, intense, and active… yes, that was wearying. Especially when I did not seem to see any good results.
SO
Once again God gives me an organized plan.
- Come to me. Stop trying to be a one-man-band – it’s ok to cry HELP!
- Implied – give me your load – let. It. Go. (heavy laden is more than just physical tired – it is overburdening and spiritual anxiety and worry).
It seemed peculiar to that young mind (and still seems peculiar) that God gives – He gives all of his good – He gives His best. I can see now where people get the idea that we want to
give back our best to please God. Not that we shouldn’t… but every time I read this verse I am reminded that God usually asks me for my garbage and brokenness. Come – give me your stinky, stale, spoiled things of life that are making you worry and feel sad, depressed or fearful.
Doesn’t seem quite fair does it? But as my god-father Lawrence and I discussed, people have been foolishly trying to make the cut – to balance the scales of Heaven with their good against their bad, when all the time God is telling us it is only HIS good that will get us in.
Silly isn’t it to picture God’s scale and all his good on one side, and little me piling on reluctant good deeds and wish-I-could-do-more good deeds, thinking I will ever balance the scale!
- HE will give me rest. (not me will give me rest) I have one of those active brains that fights rest. I have tried to take naps, and unless zero to miniscule sleep several nights prior, it will not cooperate. So why do I keep trying instead of LETTING GOD give me rest?
A sweet elderly lady I called Grandma V kind of shocked my faith years later when she told me scriptures say because we know the Lord we can lay down in sleep and not worry. (Prov. 3:24 When you lie down, you will not be afraid; When you lie down, your sleep will be sweet.)
“The Great I AM said that to me,” she said. “So, should I insult Him then with unbelief and lie awake all night?”
That is the true rest I was seeking, and this was the beginning.
Have you found that rest?
2 Comments on “Discoveries of Faith – Weariness and Making the Cut”
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Be the Miracle! – with journaling pages
Delores Liesner: Author
American Christian Fiction Writers Association
Delores Liesner 
Excellent! No wonder publishers are interested in your work.
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Aww Thanks, Mary.
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