This might be the closest I’ve come to learning to let Ken lead…and come to think of it, Ken was learning to let me let him – lead I mean.
He was only there – private dance lessons, due to a Christmas gift with a catch (required participation) but he was game and accepted the challenge.
Ken is such a gentleman that I always feel like a Cinderella when we go out. This was no exception but the teacher (young and dark, with a fair Bandaras accent) spotted the challenge right away. He greeted us with something like ‘Oh, good, I have the most fun teaching a couple when the woman has a strong personality.’
What? I cannot imagine what gave him that impression. Type A Sanguine – me?
Well, anyway, we loved our lessons and then found we hadn’t thought any further than the gift certificate. I should have known we – or at least I – would want to continue dancing… and that we could not afford it.
The temptation was to let Ken please me and “find the money” by breaking our budget, but I just could not do that. I compared other area private lessons (not much available) compared prices, and tortured the budget most of one night trying to tweak out enough. It wasn’t happening. But Ken still said he wanted to do it “because I know you really enjoyed it.” I spent another hour pondering the lesson and benefits of letting him lead.
This lesson from the movie Take the Lead (starring Antonio Bandaras) Mr. Dulaine: The man proposes the step.It is the woman’s choice to accept by following. Now, to follow takes as much strength as to lead.
I’ve always said that no woman looks for a wimpy guy. We want a man who will lead with confidence. Yet we also want a man whose confidence submits to love. I certainly have that and have struggled at times to make sure I don’t take advantage of that affection. I am strong-willed. I am fairly self-centered, especially when my emotions are involved, as they are with dance. Ken says he likes my strengths (good thing) and all things considered, he would say it probably takes MORE strength for me to allow him to lead. Still, it was evident I knew what I had to do. I had to let the Lord lead, so I could let Ken lead.
Ken was pleasantly surprised the next morning when I told him I wanted more lessons, but agreed we should be able to pay for them before we signed up.
And oddly, I think, I feel good about not taking the lead in this decision. We both felt sad when we left the dance studio, until Ken reminded me that he wanted the same thing I did – besides our budget goals, to enjoy this hobby together and to seek the higher road by either finding, earning and saving the money or by accepting that seemingly un-American phrase “we cannot afford it.”
Together we agreed to sell, search and save. We canceled some things today that give us $25 a month to start toward the lessons. I have two boxes of stuff I will put on Ebay tomorrow. They are small starts, but with determination we can save enough and then get the lessons with no regrets.
Gained: a new excitement for our weekly dance-at-home practice as we got a few more steps figured out. Gained – a new determination – I am willing to wait for this purchase, to save for it. The original 2011 goal, to stick to our budget, to pay off two large bills, and make it through the year using no credit, has not been compromised.
Anyone need a like-new waffle iron, a white fur coat, a black curly lamb jacket, some adorable miniature lamb figurines, a precious moment figurine….?