Hyper Grandma

An overdose of hormones, energy and curiosity can be a gift or a curse.  I’m told they make life with me an adventure in faith for my dear hubby and family.  Things happen when I’m with you, the (8)  grandkids say, encouraging me to share some of our humorous moments walking by faith…

Kim’s 14th birthday was no exception.  A photo-of-the-month prize was waiting for me in Milwaukee, and Kim thought it would be fun to ride along, and practice Spanish in the car rather than on the couch.  Time flew by with the lesson completed by the time we reached the TV station, and after we proved identification and received this framed photo of Faith, Kim asked if we could hunt for a new devotional for her.  On the way to the bookstore she asked about my previous day’s bike ride with friend Marla – laughing hilariously as I explained the riderless horse trotting down Taylor Avenue which we had to cross to continue the bike path.  There ahead of us was a mom in distress – a rope in one hand and a bucket (of oats we guessed) in the other.   Our husbands were shocked, picturing their 50-something-just-had-leg-surgery and 60-something-could-need-leg-surgery-after-today wives circling around on bikes helping to round up a runaway horse!

As we finished the tale we ended up at a bookstore across from a large mall. Beckoning us from across the street was an upscale Chinese restaurant we’d both longed to visit ‘someday’.   We looked at each other and moments later Kim was warning our charming waiter, Ben, as he seated us that “things happen” when Gramma is around, while quickly summarizing the previous days adventure.  The dark-haired young man paused, unbelieving, queried where I would find a horse, then laughed with us and took our order.  The meal was delightful as Kim and I made up stories about the other patrons and what was “really” going on in their lives.  Ben stopped by from time-to-time, seeming to enjoy bantering with us.  As I figured the tip with my remaining cash, I added a neat gospel tract that looks like a million-dollar bill, and a check for the meal – explaining to Kim how Grandpa challenged me that I couldn’t live a month without the credit card.  Ben casually picked up the folder, heading for the hostess’ desk, and soon returned frowning.  It seems the restaurant did not take checks!  Kim started to giggle, asking if I was going to have to wash dishes or be taken to jail. (notice she did not ask if WE were going to wash dishes).  I told him I did not have the card with me, but would call my husband for some back-up, and Ben went to “see what he could do.”  I stuffed the tip, tract and check in my purse, and began dialing Ken while asking Kim what she would do if they did take me to jail. She laughed and said, “Guess I’d call someone for a ride home.”  No protective action, calling for help for me or pleading to not take my Gramma –I noted sadly to continued giggles, and “Uh, oh – you’re in trouble now” pointing as I hung up the phone with Ken to a tall middle-aged man with a “manager” name tag approaching our table.

He seemed to be evaluating the situation as he approached and as I explained that Ken had a backup plan, he said, no, that’s fine – you look honest and we will make an exception and take your check.  Kim told him she liked adventures with Gramma but was relieved her Gramma would not have to wash dishes or go to jail!  We joked a bit as I grabbed the papers from my purse and once again stuffed them in the waiter’s folder for payment.  Ben brought our cute oriental boxes with leftovers and commented as we rose to leave that he would ‘never forget the Gramma with the horse-story and the check.”  We thought the incident was over, chuckling on the way home, but later that evening when I retrieved receipts from my purse, out fell the check to the restaurant!  Apparently all I’d left was the “million dollar bill” and the tip.

I couldn’t resist calling Kim first and telling her what I’d found in my purse.  “Gramma, Gramma, she lamented, you really are in trouble now.  He thought you were honest and you didn’t pay.”  The manager at the restaurant was pleased, but admittedly surprised to hear from me minutes later, reviewing how he and Ben thought the other had retrieved the check when they examined the folder after we left.  When I found out the waiter had offered to do the “right thing” and paid the bill, I wanted to bring cash immediately, but was told Ben had already gone home for the day. The manager refused a credit card, insisting he wanted my check!  Kim and I agreed Ben should get an additional tip and a note, which we included with the check.  Now Kim is begging me to take her back while they “still recognize us.”  She wants to walk in showing Ben we have the cash.  Maybe pay him before we eat…I’m not so sure he will think it is as funny as Kim does.

One Comment on “Hyper Grandma

  1. I’m glad that didn’t happen to us when we went to lunch at Mayfair last year. Oh, the world of comedy would have come splashing down upon us all!
    Ann P.


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