Here I am again…
Tangled threads, knots, and black holes, and here and there I marvel at a bronze, or silver, or even a gold streak, not added by human hand – another year of my life tapestry.
In case you aren’t aware, a tapestry design develops from threads of different colors worked left to right (the weft) OVER vertical threads of the background cloth (the warp).
Picturing a cross will give you a visual – vertical (God to people, us reaching to God) – horizontal – people to people (living the activated faith life)
When the tapestry is completed three truths are evident:
Though the (thicker) vertical threads form the foundation of the tapestry, when the tapestry is completed they are no longer visible
Though the horizontal threads form the design of the tapestry, without the support of the strong background, they would unravel
The two – vertical threads and horizontal threads – become one.
My life – a tapestry.
So here I am again – looking back on another year’s work. The tapestry is still incomplete.
Some parts seem muddled and dark. I do not understand them, and wish I could rip them out and finish the design myself. I’ve obviously tried that before because there are holes here and there, where I’ve tried to manipulate the design.
But as I count the holes, my eyes well with grateful tears because sections I know were black holes just last year, are now covered over by exceptionally beautiful threads and design. I run my fingers over Bronze (judgment) and Silver (redemption) beautifully worked together. I am learning just as the tapestry is made of two, this design would not be possible, one without the other.
Tears of remembrance at the weaver’s surgical correction of my foolish attempts to ‘fix’ the tapestry are painful, but healing too, and I understand what He had to do to repair my blunders.
There is much to be done in the coming year. I do not know how much time is left before my tapestry will be completed and ready to present. Despite my strong will wanting to leave out the dark colors, my weak tendency to be jealous of another’s tapestry, and my foolish anxiety over the year ahead, I remember, and sigh deeply.
I am not the designer.
He who creates beauty where none exists has taken my lumpy, knotted threads, and is working in what can only happen when His hands guide the threads – miraculously, my greatest joy, when others tell me they see in my tapestry, His signature thread of gold.
So here I am again – after yesterday, wondering what my word for the year will be. Asking what will God use to guide me to reduce the tension created when I grip the threads, and let him weave what He will?
Reviewing the year has me humbled that despite all my weakness, moody grief-overload, want-to-fix-everything, and the sometime disastrous results, God has shown me favor.
Among so many others – favor in you – your friendship, encouragement, book reviews, and prayers; favor in many helpers – jobs, writing, technology, cutting the clutter, and on and on, and favor especially in God allowing a word or story experience of mine to draw another closer to Him.
Thus my word for 2017 and my fasting focus will be: favor
Psalm 90:17 And let the favor of the Lord our God be upon us;
And do confirm for us the work of our hands;
Yes, confirm the work of our hands.
What is your word for the year and your tapestry story?