This is the inside of the little white Bible I wrote about last time. Childish handwriting of my first discoveries. I didn’t write all over the margins back then – like I do now (and have done the past um…lots of years)- but I did write inside the covers.
Just looking at the verses I am sure you thought of topics or themes, as I did, but thought I’d review them, considering my insecure and unhappy (abusive) home life at the time, and see what were my first BIG discoveries of faith. The fact that I wrote them down meant they were thoughts I wanted to be sure to remember and to revisit.
The little white Bible is King James version, which I no longer use but it is interesting when I ponder the old-world language and translation it brings me back to my first love – because this was where the stirrings of faith began.
I really was analytical at a very young age, and loved to play devil’s advocate and debate things. [I totally related to Dolly Parton’s characterization in Coat of Many Colors] Interesting that God took this feisty little girl and gave this verse:
James 5:16 Confess your faults one to another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed. The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much.
Back then, although I knew I was being sinned against (abuse), and I was more than willing to confess their faults! Interesting the Bible did not encourage me to do that. Certainly, I also knew without a doubt (and worried) that many of my thoughts and wishes were not pleasing to God. It was comforting, though, when I later found that David whom God referred to as a man after His own heart, also wished and prayed for punishment on the villains in his life 🙂
Scripture, I’ve found then and since, always has an order to accomplishment. So, if I wanted to be rescued from my situation (or myself) the first thing I need to do was the first thing listed:
- Confess my own faults (didn’t seem fair at the time, but they weren’t hard to find)
- Praying for one another (still the biggest challenge of my life to pray for my enemies)
- Realize I could be healed. There was more than a possibility of being made whole – it says do this that you MAY be healed.
- Discover and use a certain type of prayer (effectual and fervent) (effectual of course means something effective or constructive that works, and fervent is focused, passionate and intense – committed, too, I think.
- But wait – it says prayers of a righteous person – How can I get that – seems as though that is a basis – a central or foundational quality to be found before even praying.
My room was the second window to the left of the tree in the photo’s center. I spent a lot of time there, and on the roof outside of that window, pondering these deep thoughts and writing letters to God. Wish I knew what happened to those writings… All this because I knew I was wounded.
I did long to be healed. I’d been told since infancy that I was a bad seed. I didn’t think there was any possibility of that changing, so imagine my heart soaring to read this passage!
And how could I get righteous? That stirred up a hunt for that word in the Bible – I did not have to go far in the same book to find it – James 1:20 For the wrath of man worketh not the righteousness of God.
James 2:23 And the scripture was fulfilled which saith, Abraham believed God, and it was imputed unto him for righteousness: and he was called the Friend of God. James 3:18 And the fruit of righteousness is sown in peace of them that make peace.
Here I was shown the steps of righteousness
- Give my anger to God – it says man’s anger does not work (create or accomplish) God’s righteousness – and I wanted that righteousness so my prayers would be effectual.
- Believe! That was how Abraham got righteous and how I could too. I had no problem with believing. Early on I had a knowing of God’s existence, and exploratory quizzing found more proof that the Bible was God’s Words then not, so I accepted that too.
- The seed of righteousness could begin to grow in those who make peace.
That is where it all began, and God called me to be a peace-maker in our family.
Where did your faith begin? What is the first Bible verse that spoke opened your heart to belief?