Exer-phobia

That’s what I’ve got. I’m sure of it.

Either that or my granddaughter  is trying to kill me.  (with kindness, she says – yeah right!)

Somehow Faith hypnotized me into agreeing to a week at Razor Sharp and I suppose she wants to make sure I get a sweeping experience.  I think she learned this behavior model from her sister, Kristin (see photo above)

Monday began with Pilates.  Well if we want to get literal, Monday began with Faith in the doorway of my bedroom calling to a sleep-drugged most-of-the-night writer.  Pilates wasn’t too bad, even though it was a much more intense version than I’d taken a few years back.   Next were all the available machines (there are a LOT) with appropriate instructions from Faith, and that nagging (I mean sweet) voice counting out the reps for me.  We closed with an awkward trial on some glider machine and a half hour on the treadmill.

Tuesday she started slow with Aquacise.  As we headed for the pool I began to tremble, recalling a similar class I took at the YWCA years ago.  I’d joined a class in progress where the women were marching in a circle.  I’d no sooner got into the lineup in the pool  and the instructor told them to turn the opposite direction.  It happened so rapidly they created a vortex and I was swept – literally – across the pool.  (screaming) I had to be rescued by the lifeguard before I made my first Aquacise move!

At least this was a much smaller, and warmer pool, but you can understand my asking after class “Are we going home now? – ha!  Next was Zumba which I normally love – I say normally as the class I’ve attended demonstrates the steps and routines – this one felt like being shot from a cannon. Zoom! Bah!  I had no idea what I was doing, running to and fro trying to see the instructor from the back of the room (no way was I going to listen to my determined physical fitness nut and go to the front of the room to display my lack of coordination) and as soon as I figured out one step they were doing another.  Ten minutes of that and I left Faith there, and headed for the treadmill.   Grrrrraaaaaannnnddddmaaaaaaaa!  That’s how she greeted me after Zumba, wagging her finger like I should know better, and then promptly dragged me to Gutz and Butz which was step class with Amazon-Woman mat work (we’ll just start with the plank!).  I did about half the class but then the mat felt so good, I lay there the last few minutes and made a new commitment which I completed the minute we got home. (put my step equipment in the garage for the rummage sale).

Goodness but it is tough to be loved by your grandkids.  I’m still walking funny since that class, and I actually fell asleep at breakfast!

Today she took pity on me and we skipped the originally planned first class, starting with Therapeutic Water Exercise.  The water was warm and I was relaxed until I saw the gleam in Faith’s eye.  We stayed in the pool for the next class Water Blast.  I had to face getting my hair and glasses wet viciously tossing a beach ball and splashing it in the pool.  That was the warm-up.  I admit – it was the most fun class yet, discovering we could do Celtic dancing if our limbs are under water!  It feels awesome – until you try to walk out of the pool.  Suddenly my legs felt like lead and I thought she might have to go get a dolly to transport me to the sauna – my new favorite room!

Tomorrow is the final exam of my commitment (unless she coerces me to return on Monday, the last day of the free week).

Appreciate your prayers.

About Delores Liesner

Author, Reviewer, Columnist
This entry was posted in All Four Sides of Me. Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to Exer-phobia

  1. Emily K says:

    you are hilarious! and a great writer, as well! love you

    Like

  2. Cyn Rogalski says:

    Oh what a WONDERFUL description! I feel your pain! Literally! In honor of Spring arriving, I vaccummed the upstairs radiators, needing to use a toothbrush (the old gristled one) to get the CLUMPS of dust out of the nooks and crannies. My knees and back are reminding me this morning WHY there were clumps of dust; I don’t think they got a cleaning like this…ever? And we’ve lived here 14 years!

    Like

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